| (no subject) |
[May. 9th, 2008|11:00 am] |
The best text message I've sent in awhile:
"Dude why the fuck are you not here. There's a hose in the bathroom and I am slurring drunk."
I know, I'm a total catch. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2008|04:51 pm] |
this has been a really good week for some reason. good shows, good hang out time... work hasn't been insanely stressful, for once. i did, however, get in a fight with some douchey loudmouth bro kid at gilman last weekend, which was a real bummer, but the rest of the show and the night made up for it.
i got some great (very early) birthday presents from my family, including TWO gift boxes of pears from harry and david... those fucking pears. they were delivered to me at work and i pretty much flipped out- it was actually kind of embarrassing. seriously, though, those things are the most delicious food nature has ever created, pretty much.
i've been kind of sad about the world lately, lots of bad news and reminders of how fucked up things are in general, but i'm trying to counteract that by doing things that make me feel happy, and maybe some things that are good for the world, in some small way.
i'm writing to josh harper in prison for the first time, an i'm going to send him a book from ak, which i'm excited about. working at a publisher definitely has its advantages for getting things into prisons.
i'm also working on my massive zine-order from microcosm- 400 copies in all, plus some more just to have for general friend-giving, distro-selling purposes. i don't know if you've ever put together 400 zines, but it's a lot of fucking work. it is also, however, going to pay my rent for next month. fuck yes.
i had some good hang out time with gina and johnny and their friend patrick this weekend, and didn't get drunk and make a fool of myself this weekend like i did the last time i hung out with them a couple weeks ago. there's apparently a photo of me hugging a charles bronson record to myself and being the most stoked, drunk person alive, right before i flopped onto my back on the floor, i assume still holding it. i actually saw the picture, but still don't remember it being taken.
we made the best brunch ever today and watched the cramps live in napa state mental institution video from 1978, got some free coffee from gaylords, and basically fucking ruled at life.
i had a little date-with-myself bike ride into berkeley today, which was really nice. it was a beautiful day and i passed by a group of people sitting in this park on shattuck with bikes who, when they saw me looking at them as i rode by, all simultaneously waved like we were old friends. it was nice to ride without a destination, and it felt so good to be outside on a 62 degree sunny winter day.
i'm going to portland-tacoma-seattle in a week and a half with seth, tamar and maybe cassandra, and am amazingly excited. it's been way too long since i've been up the coast, and wayyy too long since i've seen some of those friends. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 2nd, 2007|11:40 pm] |
gg, my cat, had to have over $700 of emergency medical care today, in addition to the $160 i spent just two days ago, and the bills are going to keep piling up over the next 24-48 hours while he has to stay at the vet's with an IV.
he has a blocked urinary tract that the vet said could have killed him.
being responsible for another life is really fucking terrifying. i have been crying for a lot of today, and making myself seem like even more of a crazy person than i actually am to everyone around me.
i don't really have close to a thousand dollars to spend on this, but it wasn't really a matter of choice, so there you go.
i'm thinking about trying to organize a benefit show ('save gg allin!' people would go for it), and i don't know what else, to try to get some of the money to cover this. my dad is giving me some, and seth will probably give me some, but right now it's all on my credit card and it really sucks.
i need to start selling like.... 10 times as many zines as i usually do. ha.
also, i just heard gunshots outside, so i decided to wait a little bit to go out and use the internet.
this is a stressful, unacceptable day.
anyway, um, if anyone has any ideas of how to make some money to pay for my kitty's life, or has any money that they want to give me for any reason, let me know and i'll be extremely appreciative.
p.s. when my friends are really nice and help me out and do things for me, i don't know what to do. but i really, really appreciate it. i try to be a good friend, and getting back what i give people, and more, is really wonderful. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|10:47 pm] |
life has been indescribably crazy in every possible way, so i won't even try to go into it, i think.
tomorrow i have an 'interview' at industrial tattoo, aka industrial strength. this interview consists of me going in and basically working for 5 hours so they can 'see how i do with customers' or something, which i kind of feel is just some kind of formality. i don't want to get my hopes up too much. but i feel like there's a really good possibility that i'll get the job.
it's just a counter job, but it could lead to something bigger, like an apprenticeship there (which would be a fucking awesome place to apprentice!), or at least a better chance somewhere else, since i'd have some good experience.
either way, my life is going to be ruined somehow. if i get it, school and ak and everything else will be fucked. if i don't get it, i'll have missed a really great opportunity. so wish me luck or something.
p.s. look at gg and my bike in the new icon! it's my family portrait!
p.p.s. still no internet at home. i'm sitting in the car stealing wireless. |
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| fuckin land boats |
[Sep. 13th, 2006|09:57 am] |
"His study followed previous research that found many drivers saw cyclists as a group of "lycra-clad street-warriors.."
"This may lead drivers to believe cyclists with helmets are more serious, experienced and predictable than those without," he said in a statement released on Tuesday.
Walker found drivers passed an average of 3.3 inches (8.5 cm) closer to cyclists with a helmet than without, giving cyclists the room needed to avoid drain covers and potholes.
As part of his experiment, Walker also donned a blond wig and found drivers gave him an average of 5.5 inches more space when they passed what appeared to be a female cyclist."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060913/sc_nm/bikes_dc |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2006|05:17 am] |
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today i rode on a motorcycle. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|02:11 am] |
note to selves:
make robin hood apparel (hat) |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2006|04:39 pm] |
so comcast took away the internet because the guy who installed it originally pocketed my cash (presumably) and they think i haven't paid.
anyway, i'm online for a second at work. i'm planning to make the best of this internet free time by watching a lot of 6 feet under and reading and starting on new zines.
if you don't hear from me, assume the best. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2006|10:04 am] |
p.s.
red fucking alert.
http://www.tsa.gov/
fun times. i absolutely adore the color-coded threat rating system. i'm not making that up, i think it is the funniest thing in the world. i know i haven't talked about it in awhile, but don't think i've forgotten. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2006|09:25 am] |
going to georgia portland.
that's all, really.
wish me luck, and wish for the cat not too be too lonely. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2006|06:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
i have been in an absolutely manic state of creativity lately and, while on the one hand it is really cool and interesting, on the other hand it is a lot to handle. i don't know where this came from, but it has literally been keeping me up at night, to the point where i get 5 or so hours of sleep and then have to wake up and go to work. today at ak i just started thinking of stuff to do, and theorizing in my head, and it was so intense i had to take little breaks every few minutes to write things down so i didn't lose them or go insane expanding on these ideas i'd never be able to articulate again.
most of this, from today at least, takes the form of what i've decided to call "an ongoing conversation with myself concerning the terrifying and crucial issues of self-love, free-love and non-monogamy".
this stemmed, i guess, from the wendy-o-matic book 'redefining relationships', which kathleen had mentioned she wanted, and which i got from ak press. i gave to it her, but read a few pages first and sort of skimmed it. this in itself is a breakthrough for me, fortunately and unfortunately. up until right now, yesterday, i have been so neurotic about love and sex and relationships that merely seeing that book at the warehouse made me want to hyperventilate. this is sadly not an exaggeration. it is extremely unnerving to me. this isn't to say that i'm not still completely dysfunctional and insane, but it is to say that now i am beginning or at least trying to face it in some sort of meaningful way. i'm sure it will be a long time until i see any tangible progress with myself, if ever, but i think now is a good time to start trying to face these inexplicable demons of mine.
i generally agree with the idea of non-monogamy and open relationships, but i've never had a serious open relationship myself, and usually when i've thought or heard about it i've been in a serious monogamous relationship, and it makes me feel extremely threatened and vulnerable and so i choose to set it back down and deal with it 'later', for my own sanity/comfort. now that i've already been thrown into relationship chaos once in the recent past, i know that this is my big opportunity to make some mental progress before i have a chance to throw myself into the same old situation again.
i don't have any well-defined theory, or even feelings on this whole subject yet, but they are forming, and i've been trying to hold onto the thoughts i've had so i can refer back and at least trace my own logic, while trying to come up with something that makes sense to me. i'm typing up this shit that i wrote down frantically on scrap paper at work so that i know where it is. it may be a luxury to worry about lifestyle and identity politics, but i have that luxury and so i must deal with them.
usually i would save this sort of pseudo-intellectual, stream of consciousness groping for my own private journal, but i would really like some feedback and ideas on it, if people have any. not on the writing, obviously, but just your experiences. i seem to know a lot of people who have open relationships work for them, and some who insist on monogamy and have that work for them, and i feel like i really need to talk to people about this, while i am receptive and thinking about it and not having a panic attack. so, if you feel like it, i'd love you to tell me how you feel about the issue, anyone reading this.
( here's a nice cut cos this is so goddamn long ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2006|05:44 pm] |
it is really unreasonable for me to be so excited about this, but i just made some really awesome food and for whatever reason, i am...um... totally excited. i got a bunch of fresh veggies from the farmers market that is right near my new apartment, and decided i had to do something constructive and combine them into a lunch/dinner of deliciousness.
i'm going to put it into the third zine, i think, and call it "hippie shit: getting back to our roots (and greens)". because it is such total hippie shit. it is probably the healthiest thing ever known to man, or at least me, and i am really impressed by its nutritional value.
slice thinly and stir fry with braggs liquid aminos and olive oil:
beets (red and/or golden)
baby red potatoes
onion
garlic
carrots
rainbow chard
sprinkle with nutritional yeast, sesame seeds and maybe some pepper and salt and mix into brown rice. the beets make the rice (and kind of everything else) turn this really beautiful deep magenta, and it is so fucking good. and hey, aminos, nutritional yeast, olive oil, brown rice, garlic and greens in one meal? it's the perfect food.
ahem. anyway, sorry if no one else cares about this, or if you all already knew that you should stir fry all these things and be all healthy and in touch with the earth and your body and whatnot. whatever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|04:40 pm] |
i am sitting in the library on campus, unable to make myself do any kind of work except for half heartedly searching cruzcat to find some more resources for the 12 page research paper due on friday that i haven't started. damn. and i can't check out books to take home, or watch any films, because i forgot my fucking ID. way to go.
i've been all over the place lately, staying with seth, and sarah and mike and jessie. last night was a good show, mostly because i only watched spell it out and the helm. they were really good. we went to saturn with the helm and it was a little bit awkward, but not really, which was especially funny.
i have felt way shitty lately. just sort of mildly sad all the time. i think i go through phases of thinking i'm ok with things, with life, and then things catch back up to me and i realize, no, that really is shitty and i really do not feel good about it.
i've been having bad dreams, about betrayal, and physical pain.
i decided i'm not going to make any more efforts to call rosie or stop by her house until she calls me. i'll call her once before i move. it's gotten to the point where it's just ridiculous that i put in so much effort and she puts in so little, so to avoid further making an ass of myself, i have decided to stop.
i don't like feeling unstable, and i don't like feeling trapped, and somehow right now feels like both. it'll be better once i actually get into my place in oakland officially. but i feel really sad and jealous and resentful that everyone i know is doing amazingly fun things over summer and i am not. i may get to go to the portland zine symposium in august, if i am very lucky, which i really want to, but that would be the extent of my travelling for the rest of the year.
mountain goats are tomorrow. jessie and i are making cookies, which i am really excited about. i will probably cry, and i hope not to feel too bad, just because the mountain goats will always remind me of a really painful time in my life.
requiem is on wednesday, then again on friday, and i will probably cry then too, only because they are so powerful and beautiful to me, and i am excited.
i want to leave the library, but i comitted myself to being here for another hour or so. i have not gotten any work done, i have taken advantage of having the internet instead. i'm glad to know i only have one more paper to do, but i know i am still going to stress about it. i don't have much time, and not having the internet or a stable living situation makes it much harder.
also, i've been riding my bike a lot. i hope i don't die trying to ride it everywhere in oakland.
i hope life gets better than i think it will. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2006|11:59 am] |
i am sitting in the lounge at the college 8 cafe, trying to finish a paper that needs to be done by 2:00, and the two biggest pieces of shit in the world are sitting here, 5 feet away from me, completely ignoring the fact that i am studying, or even here, talking about being arrested for drunk driving, dating, wanting to be treated like a princess and trying to find boys who they can leach off of, being bad girlfriends, sleeping with guys who are with other women, and one declared that she was 'moving up in the world' because she now has some guy friends she hasn't fucked.
i realize that these are normal people, normal college seniors, going out into the world, working and living with and like all the other middle class college graduates, on the track to marriage and babies asnd further ruining the human race and the world in general. and it is amazing.
i cannot deal with regular people. i know this, but sometimes i am reminded and can't fucking take it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2006|01:04 am] |
life is crazy.
this is my last night in this house and i'm kind of sad.
there is too much to write about and too little time, so i won't bother. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2006|11:05 pm] |
i am afraid that i have carpal tunnel syndrome and am going tto have to kill myself.
i think it's been ridiculous amounts of bass playing as of late, and the sewing as of always. so, if that's the case, i feel that suicide might be my only option.
also, i just made a really awesome bracelet/wrist cuff weird thing out of part of a bandana, some scrap fabric, and dental floss. it has a skull and a heart embroidered on it. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2006|08:38 pm] |
So, dudes....
since the lovely ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) decameters brought it to my attention last night, today i ran out and bought the new issue of BUST magazine (the one with the yeah yeah yeahs on the front), and sure enough, there on page 26 is a picture of my zine, along with a few others, a little blurb, and a recipe from it (for 'balls'! haha. and they printed my directions verbatim, so it's really ridiculous). it is pretty much exciting times. it's only a very small little article, but it's awesome to see zines, especially food zines, especially vegan foodzines, especially mine in a relatively big and totally awesome publication like that. so, go buy it, or at least go look at it or something. it's cool.
in other news, life is no less hectic, but i feel like it's more under control now because i've been getting things done, as much as i possibly can. i had a good talk with paul ortiz, god among men, and professor of my black lib. and african diaspora class, at his office hours today. i went to turn in a paper, and then sat down and we sort of just started talking like old friends, which was funny.
also, band practice is always funny. we have 2 new songs and like four new recordings.
moving is still stressful as fuck and i hate it.
david and elaine broke up, which is pretty much awesome, except it complicates everyone's living situations.
so far my internship at ak press has done nothing but ruin other plans, but i'm trying to have faith that it will all pay off in the end.
also, i hung out with a pitbull puppy today!! she was amazing. the tag on her collar says "no dogs no masters".
also, my parents are stressing me out and making me feel shitty i called to talk a little about moving and to tell them about the bust magazine thing, and i didn't even end up telling them about the magazine because by the time we had talked about moving for 3 minutes i was too upset to try to share good news.
anyway, i'm getting over it.
paul baribeau is still awesome, and still kind of makes me sad, but i'm a little less sad today. |
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